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Healthy Sex

By: Reckless Alter

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Healthy sex involves the conscious and positive expression of your sexual energy so that it enhances your self esteem, physical health and emotional relation. Healthy sex is beneficial to both the partners and does no harm to anyone.

Sex education is limited to reproduction, birth control and disease prevention. Some information on preventing sexual abuse, sexual addiction and sexual dissatisfaction is necessary. Information on how to overcome problems caused by past sexual hurts and sexual abuse so that we can experience healthy sexual intimacy with your partner is also very essential.

You are always bombarded with images of unhealthy sex from movies, books, on TV and magazines. You may be exposed to many episodes of impulsive and forced sex. Persons are treated as sex objects and sex is portrayed as a form of power and control over your partner. No wonder many of us have experienced the tragic consequences of mischanneled sexual energy. This could be sexual abuse, compulsive sexual behavior, sexual exploitation, sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies and chronic sexual unhappiness.

You should spend some time together and get to know each other before you become physical. You both should have a lot of honest and open communication. It will be very helpful if you became good friends first before becoming lovers.

 Healthy sex is based on some basic conditions which should be met by everyone.

  1. Consent: you are comfortable and can stop the activity at any time during the sexual contact in case you are not comfortable
  2. Equality: neither is dominating and each one enjoys equal pleasure
  3. Respect: there is loads of positive regard for yourself and your partner. You have mutual respect for each other
  4. Trust: this involves physical trust and the emotional one.
  5. Safety: you feel secure and safe with your partner and are comfortable about when and how the activity takes place
  6. Comfort: it is very necessary as it affirms and sustains partners with closeness, familiarity and predictability

Long term relationships:- People in long term relationships often complain about the lagging sexual energy. Hidden energy can be found when you know where to look for. You should be deeply sexual over time with your life partner as it produces both joy and anxiety that promotes erotic energy.

Bedroom talk:- Most of the times, it is difficult to understand how to satisfy your partner sexually. The basic problem is that we all feel we are experts and know what pleases and our partners. But the fact is, sex is like any other skill. You will have to learn it and practice as every one responds differently to sex and sexual arousal. You may get turned on by some thing and your partner may find the same things unpleasant or uninteresting. To prevent this you can have a nice chat with your partner. You may come across different topics and know more about each others likes and dislikes. The more you communicate, the more relaxed you will feel and it will boost your confidence. When you are saying some thing it helps to be positive, honest and demonstrative. Ask for a feed back and inform your partner what you are going to next.

Healthy sex is always:

  1. A controlled energy
  2. Has a choice
  3. Is nurturing and healthy
  4. Expression of love
  5. Sharing with your partner
  6. Sex is a part of who I am
  7. Enhances who you truly are
  8. Private, respectful, honest and mutual
  9. Intimate, safe, responsible and empowering
  10. Reflects your values
  11. Enhances your self esteem

You should know healthy sex from other forms of sex. Healthy sex will empower you and bring more happiness into your sex life.

About the Author

 Dr. Reckless Alter is graduated from the University of Missouri-Kansas City School of Medicine as a physician in 1969 and went on to earn his medical degree in 1973. For over 25 years he has been a pioneer in the field of surgery, with a special focus on wellness medicine and hormones for men. Dr. Reckless is currently a board-certified Family Practitioner and a precautionary Medicine specialist.  He has helped heal many problems of men through his treatment.


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